After I came home from rehab in May, I thought that I was pregnant to my boyfriend of two years. He'd just broken up with me - not because of the pregnancy. He didn't know. I never told him. Just because we'd be slowly growing apart. I didn't feel it, but apparently he did. Heart-wrenching. I loved him - still do. Anyhow, I ended up telling my mother that I thought she was pregnant - both of them. My bio mom was thrilled. My new mom was devastated. Either way, the test came out negative. This is what I left her before we had the results..
I know I ruined you day and, quite possibly, your vacation.
I know I broke your mood and, quite obviously, your heart.
I know you lost your pride for me, and, I, your respect.
They say it can't rain forever but when it rains around here, it sure pours and I seem to be the weatherman.
Don't tell me I'm not a burden.
Don't tell me I'm not to blame.
Don't tell me I don't complicate your life.
Don't tell me I don't give you second thoughts.
Don't tell me I'm not a heartache.
Don't tell me there aren't times when you want to give me back..
But, please, don't tell me you will.
In kindergarten, we learned about consequences.
I was the girl sitting there, scribbling, thinking, "Damn, I would hate for that that apply to me."
Look at where that has gotten me.
Drugs, alcohol, sex, possible pregnancy.
Unfortunately, I'm not the only one who must pay for my mistakes.
I'm the type of girl who typically destroys everything in my path. Not on purpose.
It must be in my blood.
I'm sick of causing heartache.
I'm tired of making people cry.
I can't stand to hurt you yet again.
I can't promise you that I'm not going to cause pain and heartache because it seems to be what I do.
It's my default setting.
I can't promise to be the perfect daughter or even the daughter you thought you were getting.
What I can promise is to love you, learn from my mistakes, and improve at this game called life.
I just hope you can promise to accept me for who I am, and who I someday will be.
Accept my mistakes and accept my successes.
Accept my gains and losses.
Accept my fails and accept my wins.
Accept me.
I know I broke your mood and, quite obviously, your heart.
I know you lost your pride for me, and, I, your respect.
They say it can't rain forever but when it rains around here, it sure pours and I seem to be the weatherman.
Don't tell me I'm not a burden.
Don't tell me I'm not to blame.
Don't tell me I don't complicate your life.
Don't tell me I don't give you second thoughts.
Don't tell me I'm not a heartache.
Don't tell me there aren't times when you want to give me back..
But, please, don't tell me you will.
In kindergarten, we learned about consequences.
I was the girl sitting there, scribbling, thinking, "Damn, I would hate for that that apply to me."
Look at where that has gotten me.
Drugs, alcohol, sex, possible pregnancy.
Unfortunately, I'm not the only one who must pay for my mistakes.
I'm the type of girl who typically destroys everything in my path. Not on purpose.
It must be in my blood.
I'm sick of causing heartache.
I'm tired of making people cry.
I can't stand to hurt you yet again.
I can't promise you that I'm not going to cause pain and heartache because it seems to be what I do.
It's my default setting.
I can't promise to be the perfect daughter or even the daughter you thought you were getting.
What I can promise is to love you, learn from my mistakes, and improve at this game called life.
I just hope you can promise to accept me for who I am, and who I someday will be.
Accept my mistakes and accept my successes.
Accept my gains and losses.
Accept my fails and accept my wins.
Accept me.
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